STRESS

I think I stayed here one night.

Well, Mom is a little better but still very frail. I think she's gonna stay in a nursing home environment for the remainder of her life. My sister is dealing with Medicaid and is in the middle of the paper work circus.

I've been working a lot of hours lately, 55 to 70 per week and haven't really had time to write anything. The spouse and I are going to the beach this wknd to try to get over some of the stress. I may drink too much. I've been remodeling moms' house in order to rent it out and discovered that the copper pipes have pinholes in them. Fortunately the house is small with minimal plumbing. I'll just have to deal with it. thanks for reading.

Working my butt off.

Hey, if you got an itch you gotta scratch it! Well, here we are int the last part of January and I finally get a chance to update.

Mom had a real downturn back at the first of the year and ended up back in the hospital and back to a nursing home. I don't really think she's going back to the assisted living this time. I'm going for a visit in a little while. Each time I see her I expect it to be the last. People in her condition tend to surprize you with their staying power though. She could live for years.

I've been doing at least 60- hrs a week lately with several projects going on. This should slack off in late feb. I get really tired but enjoy the income.

I loved this when I found it. Rellay explains a lot about what is going in in the "City by the Bay".

Well, the election year is in full swing now and I couldn't be less interested. ALL the politicos are liars and government for and by the people is a myth. I think we are in the beginning of the end of the American Empire. Sound gloomy?, I still feel like we have the best thing going. I also think that there has never been anything better. History will tell if I'm right. thanks for reading.

Happy New Year!

Here it is, the story of the coming year. I predict that by the end of the year 2008 we will be all heatily sick of politics.

I started my new years' eve out right with several shots of Sailor Jerrys', I hav no idea how this entry will look when I finish since the Sailor has an attitude.

Mom has been eloping lately. That is the term the institutions use to describe someone who is trying to escape. I don't know why this sudden change of heart. We had her meds changed and she has quited down somewhat. I can only hope that she decides to stay put. I hope you all have a happy and prosperous new yeer. thamks for reeding.

Let's hear them sleighbells jingaling........

Xmas* is upon us once again. The only thing positive about it is that I'm stil on the top side of the sod. The installation thing at work was halted until the programmer people could solve their problems and make the system work as promised.
Yesterday was one of those days when I felt like I was chasing my butt all day. I couldn't seem to get anything to work right and spent a lot of time driving. really frustrating.
Mom told me a couple of days ago that she was happy where she was and that I had done the right thing when I had her taken from her home several months ago. She said that she was confused and frightened back then and that she understood now that I was acting in her best interest. I knew that but it felt really good to hear her say it. thanks for reading.

*trademarked by the secular progressive movement USA

Dohh!

I saw the most inane thing last night. I was in one of our stores and noticed a baseball hat for sale. This hat had a pirate logo on it and emblazoned across the brim was this legend "Beatings will continue until moral improves." Note that it does not say morale but rather moral. Imagine, thousands of these hats are out there and are being worn with a typo on them. This shows just how our society has dumbed down. This hat got all the way through the process of design, screen printing and marketing without ever being noticed. To make it worse, thousands of people have bought them and are proudly wearing them, not realizing that thinking people evrywhere are saying to themselves "What a Maroon!". thanks for reading.

Even More Mom

Well, mom seems to be adjusting well to her new home. Sis took her to her house last night to eat dinner with her family. We ordered a new bed and a new lift chair for her to be delivered monday. She will be excited about this and these things will make her feel more at home there. We have had a real difficult time with Medicaid. Mom had three life insurance policies with total face value of 20,000. We were required to cash these in and spend the money on mom before she could qualify for assistance. We have to show proof of this, receipts and cancelled checks.
She is only allowed 1500 in life insurance, not even enough to bury her. Fortunately she has already paid all her burial expenses. Basically you have to be a pauper to qualify even though she has paid taxes and voted her entire life. They also told me that upon her death they would seek reimbursement from her estate, if any is available. I'm just happy she is in a nice place and is cared for. The stress from this has been almost more than I could take. The state and the medical establishments have required mounds of paperwork and working 55-60 hour weeks at the same time has been real stressful. The whole thing was worth it, though, to see mom acting halfway sane again. I know there will be more hard times ahead but I think I'm seeing light at the end of the tunnel on this one.
We have been installing a new POS system at work in about 35-38 stores. I don't really know how many there are. I'm just a tech, I'm not in marketing. We do all the wiring and install the software and then the IT guys do the programming. We do this at night to avoid affecting sales as much as possible. Things usually go well the first few hours, we get our stuff in and then the IT guys start thier part. This is when it slows to a crawl. At first they are talkative and freindly, then they begin to huddle and talk really low. We ask "how's it going?" and they just glance at you and won't meet your eyes. Then after several hours of this suddenly everything starts to work. We show up at around 8pm and finish our part about 1am. They finish thier part about 5am. We can't leave because if something goes wrong we have to be there to correct it or to CYA. There's a lot of office politics going on and we just want this project to be finished. We're working really long hours and still handling service calls at the same time. I love it, the challenge is something I enjoy. Unlike moms' situation I can get a real handle on this and see real results. thanks for reading.

STRESS

I guess everyone is ready for thanksgiving. We've bought our turkey and prepared for the big meal. We probably would go out but our children insisted that it wouldn't be the same if we didn't do the big family meal thing. I think my sister is going to have mom at her house this year. thanks for reading.

Mom again

Well, we finally got a permanent home for mom. She has improved to the point that she is going into an assisted living right here in our town. She will still have her meds supervised and get her meals prepared but otherwise she is on her own. The picture shows just one of the common rooms in the place. there is also a really posh dining room and several activity areas. The residents also are taken out shopping and to other activities. Kinda like living on a cruise ship. She seems excited and is looking forward to the move. The down side is that to qualify for this we have to cash in her three small life insurance policies and spend the money on her or on her house by dec. 1 and show proof to the medicaid people. The paperwork I have gone through in the last three months is unbelievable. The picture above made it look kind of empty, actually the place is full of people. I wasn't allowed to take any pictures with the residents in them.

Christmas is just around the corner and I thought this photo would help get everyone in the right mood. With everything else to deal with I'm sure all the Santas out there are gonna be stressed to the max. thanks for reading.

Sugar High

Well, Halloween is over except for the sugar rushes the kids will be getting for the next few days till the candy runs out. I'm glad mine are grown. You can always send the grandkids home when they get to be too much.

I applied for some insurance the other day and my driver record came back showing a speeding conviction I wasn't aware of. Turns out this guy in California is using my number to drive on. I ran into this person 30 years ago when I first got a Commercial license. He has the same name and birthdate as I do and that's all the CDL people used to look at. Nowadays they also use the SS number. This is a bad guy with an arrest record small children could sit on to reach the dinner table. I called the CDL help line and they said I also had a record in Oregon, pretty strange considering that I've never been further west than Arkansas. This rules out that west coast vacation I was thinking about. If I got stopped for speeding in Ca I could wind up as someones sweetheart in a California penitentiary. thanks for reading.

Cool Weather

Here's a sample of an old comic I used to enjoy back in the day. The writer has had her website "under construction" forever. If she ever gets it up and running I'll buy her products.

We had a meeting this weekend and decided that mom should stay in the nursing home. She is too easily upset for us to try to care for her. Late meds or upset routine throw her into a bad mood and make her very hard to handle.

The medicaid people said that we could rent her home but they would get the money. Riiigghhht, I'm gonna put up with all the crap of being a landlord and the state gets the money. I don't think so. We'll just close the house, turn off the power and gas and let it rot. The state is gonna end up getting it anyways so why should I take care of it?

We're getting some cool weather now and I had to turn on my heat. I just installed this gaspack last summer and didn't realize the gas valve had an off and on positional switch. The spouse asked me turn the heat on. I didn't let on that I thought it was already on. I turned the switch on and sat back, nothing...then I noticed the blinking green light. I thought "green, that's good, better than a red blinking light." I noticed then that the light was blinking in a pattern. I looked on the back of the access door and found the chart. 6 blinks and then 1 blink. Timed out because of failed ignition. Then at the bottom, Reset by cycling power. I tripped the breaker and lo and behold, Heat! Troubleshooting is 90% observation and 10% perspiration.

Thought I'd include this pic for all of you who are gonna be traveling in the coming holidays. The Japanese have a way with English. They just don't get the subtleties. This poster indicates that the airline doesn't have lot of confidence. Why else would they wish you good luck? thanks for reading.

More Stuff

I think Cliff is on to something. Buffalo theory would explain a lot of things. Now if you could tie in the liver is evil, it must be punished with the Buffalo Theory you would cover all arguments for a snootfull.
Well, more in the continuing saga of Mom. She still packs her things every day in the expectation of going home. The stuff she packs seem to be multiplying. Lately they have included some of the Halloween decorations from around the nursing home and perhaps some of her room mates things. She told me recently that the water pitcher in her bag was a "Steal". She claims that it keeps ice all day! She needed a Kleenex the other night and said that they wouldn't give her any. I found the Kleenex in her bags, packed up and ready to go. I'm meeting with the sibs this morning to discuss options on her future. A touchy and emotional issue. The stress level is at 9.5. Another good excuse for a snootfull. thanks for reading.

More Mom

This is the feeling I get sometimes. No matter what I come up with someone else beats me to the punch.
I took my grandson to visit mom yesterday and she was thrilled. She gets everyone else mixed up but she knew who he was. She started crying when she saw him and was afraid it would upset him. I explained to him that it was tears of happiness and he was fine with it. they talked and had a good visit. He really acted mature for a 6 year old.
We have until the end of the month to get a room ready for her at my brothers' house. She is real excited to be going there. She will eat good there, my brother likes to cook and enjoys preparing meals for other people. This is so strange, Mom has been hostile to his family for 6 years and now she is going there. Mom has an entire new attitude while on the proper medicine. The trick to making this work will be getting her to take her medicine.
We helped my wifes' mother move yesterday and Friday and got really stressed. I always dread moving someone else's belongings. Something always gets broken or scratched and then the qeustion, do I offer to pay for it?.
I mean, you volunteer to help and if something goes wrong you get a guilt trip free of charge.
Oh well, we gotter done and My part of it is over. Just seeing all her crap made me want to come home and throw away some stuff. I will keep sentimental items but not to the extent that my home is cluttered. Except for furniture I like to keep personal items down to what will fit in a suitcase. I like to spend my spare time roaming the house looking for things to discard. Those pictures of traditional Japanese homes where everything is so Spartan make me envious. The Spouse mentioned decorating the house the other day and I was confused. I mean, there's paint on all the walls, what more is needed? Beige paint. I'll probably spend some time today getting rid of some clothes too. All my clothes should fit in no more than two washing machines. I've accumulated some extra clothes this summer and it's time to thin 'em out. If the men in the black Chevy Suburbans ever come for me I can pack and go out the window faster than they can sneak in the back door. thanks for reading.

Events

Here it is 4 am and I'm wide awake. Mom is doing ok, by that I mean she is in good physical health but her mind is still gone. She is no longer so beligerant and is a lot easier to get along with. My brother and his wife are going to take her home in a couple of weeks and try caring for her at thier house. I wish them the best. I know it's gonna be hard.

Today I'm gonna be the only tech in the area and I've already got several calls to start the day. We got a little rain last night, I woke and heard it and thought "what is that noise?". We've so little rain recently that it sounded strange. thanks for reading.

A While.........

It's been a while since I blogged. We had another all nighter this week and we've got two next week. I thought you might like these two ads I found recently. the top one makes me want to brew a whole pot and the bottom one is totally understandable. I think there have been times that my wife would have not asked questions if I had vanished for a week or two. She would have just wished for the worst and gone on with her life.
Mom was justifying her stay at the Living Center by believing that she was at work there. After her retirement party (birthday party) she had to find a new reason to be there. She now thinks she is in a TB Sanitarium. I don't think there have been any of these facilities in the US for around 50 years. I think her room mate has a cough and mom has somehow turned it into TB. We attended the Alzheimer's Association meeting the other night and heard one woman relate that her mom wants to go home even though she is already at home. She gets her into the car and rides around aimlessly looking for this mythical "home". Our nation is turning into a Lunatic ward. The Jihadist just need to be patient and when all the boomers get dementia we will be an easy conquest.
The grandson had a loose tooth with another already poking through the gum. Naturally his dad called on Gramps to come pull the tooth. I'm the only one in the family mean enough to hold a 6 year old down and pull his tooth against his will. The granddaughter is getting to be a real handful now. She likes to play rough and really enjoys pulling my beard and screaming along with me.
My tattoo artist son is staying really busy now and usually has several appointments going all the time. I'm gonna post more tatt pics soon. He did a very nice Jesus tatt the other day, very realistic. Since he started doing this full time he has really improved. Some people reach a stage of competency and stay there but some just continue to get better and better. These are the artist and I like to think he is one of these. thanks for reading

Birthday Party

We all went the nursing home (Living Center) yesterday to celebrate moms' 81st. She was amazed at the cake and said no one had ever brought her a nicer one. I'm sure her memory being what it is that this statement was made in complete honesty. here she is admiring her cake. We all had a good time and mom was in an exceptionally good mood. She thinks she is working there and they refuse to let her go home. She was under the impression that this was her retirement party and she would finally get to leave. When she got tired she wheeled herself off to a secluded area to be alone. My brother and I went to check on her and found her in a depressed mood. I told her everyone was there because she was loved and she said they could all go to "hello". It was good to see her laugh and smile again even for just a short while. thanks for reading.

Back to the real world

We returned home from vacation yesterday. Real bummer. Today the family is going to the nursing home to celebrate moms' birthday. She is 81 and sometimes thinks she is 60 or 50 or 40 or well, you get the picture. My sister visited her for about 30 minutes the other day, left for a few minutes and when she returned it was as if she hadn't been there all day. I dream about her nearly every night, usually strange dreams where she is hostile and trying to escape from her new residence. She does actually try this often and the maglocks on the doors are all that keep her there. She seems to think that she is at work at the hospital she worked at many years ago and is being kept there against her will to ensure an adequate work force.

My mother in law is also going thru a change right now. She sold the house she has lived in for about forty years and is moving in to her sons house. He is moving to Atlanta to be with his girlfriend. My wife is just waiting for her mom to decide she doesn't like the situation and start blaming her for it.

I'm looking forward getting back to work and plan on many long days. thanks for reading.

vacation 2

This would be mom without her meds.
Well, we're on vacation at the beach. Today we spent some time at the ocean, spouse walked and I played with my metal detector. I found lots of bottle caps and one dime. At this rate in about two years I can pay for the detector. Helps to forget about stress though. Found a hot spot in the rental so thought I would take the oppurtunity to blog this. I will take some pictures later and post them. thanks for reading.

Vacation

Here are some news items I thought were worth sharing. The bottom one is no surprise. We start our vacation today and I'm not sure if the place we're staying has a hot spot so this could be my last post for a week or so. I'll check my mail in a parking lot but I won't take the time to post a blog that way.

I feel guilty about going away for a week and leaving mom, even though I know she'll be fine. the way the Alzheimers has screwed up her time sense she'll never know I was gone. My sibs will visit often and the staff will care for her but that doesn't make it easier. Last night she thought that I was my brother and was shocked to find that I was taking my wife away for a week. She also claimed that the "Indians" who ran the place were going around with a notebook figuring out how much money they were making on each resident. She probably saw the dieticians or one of the doctors making rounds. She lives in a paranoid world of confusion and time distortion where events of the past 80 years may have happened just yesterday and events of today never happened at all. She gets three good meals each day but if asked will assert that she hasn't been fed at all. You cannot reason with her but she is easily distracted. When she insisted on going home the other night I reminded her that dinner was on the way and she raced me back to her room. I enjoy watching her wolf down her meals because I know the day will come when she will forget how to eat. The cruelest of deseases.

The granddaughter is walking now and has the posture of a chimp. This will straighten as her back becomes stronger and her legs strengthen. We all enjoy watching her walk and imagine her falling and hitting her head on every hard surface. She, however, sees no danger and happily toddles all over the house. She is growing so fast I know we will be attending a wedding in no time at all.

thanks for reading.

Mom Again

Mom is settled in at a local Nursing center. The Dr. says the brain injury probably speeded up the dementia. He suggested 24 hr care for the rest of her life, which could be years. We've started the application process and now a lot of it is wait and see. She meets us each evening with a bag full of her things ready to go home. We ask her about her day and distract her until she forgets about leaving. Her memory is about 50% fabrication. She fills in the gaps with imaginative stories. She told me yesterday that everyone in the facility was kidnapped from local hospitals to enable the owners to fill the beds and make lots of money. She is unsteady on her feet and wears a restraint belt to keep her from falling out of the wheelchair. She has a single minded obsession with cutting the belt. She was using her butter knife on it at lunch today I am told. The terrible reality of this disease points out the very real limits of our medical knowledge. This really is "The Long Goodbye". thanks for reading.

first birthday

Here's the birthday girl with her Gramps and just prior to diving into the cake. In the bottom picture about 15 people were singing to her and she wasn't sure what was next. She was probably thinking that a firing squad came after this. Lots fun for everyone and plenty of toys and clothes for Chloe. Happy Birthday, Sweetheart! thanks for reading.