Stone Mountain

The wife and I went to Stone Mountain in Ga. for the fourth. There were about 30 gazilion people there. We were with her brother and his significant other. Wall to wall people for about 9 hrs. What a day. I think the place would be a lot of fun on any day but the fourth.

Just coming off of a ten day vacation. Really dreading going back to work. Oh well, life goes on.

New Tattoo Parlor

My oldest opened his second shop last nite. I am very proud of him and wish him the very best.

I've really had a stressful couple of weeks lately and am looking forward to my vacation next week. I've got 10 days coming and might actually rest a little.

Mom is about the same and is going to be in the same place for the remainder of her days. She is on Medicaid now and we are relieved. I just wish I could afford to keep her at home but it's just not possible. She has to have 24 hr care and we can' t do that and work also. Alzheimers, the damnable desease.

Vista Sucks

Wise advice, indeed. I finally got all my drivers loaded and working on my laptop. Driveragent.com was a big help and well worth the 30 bucks. Microsoft really bit a big one with Vista, it's slow, cumbersome and uses up way too much hard drive and ram. I'll stick with the XP Pro and Firefox. My Hard drive now uses about 25% less storage for basic functions and works at least 70% faster. Cool! thanks for reading.

Vacation

Well, I've been enjoying a few days of R&R. Actually I worked on things around the house most of te time. I painted two doors today so I could hang them tonite. Inside white and the outside black and, you guessed it, One of them was painted backwards. I'll finish it tomorrow.
I got a new laptop several weeks ago loaded with Vista. After putting up with slow speed, interrupted internet and Vista using up hard drive I finally formatted it and loaded my old, reliable XP. Used a lot less hard drive and stays online even with sketchy signal.
Deb and I are still working on repairing our mariage. She usually eats dinner with me, visits a while and then I walk her home.
Mom is finally in a designated Medicaid bed now and will end her days there. I plan to see her in the morning. I'll write about that later. thanks for reading. Sorry, no pictures on this new computer.

More Stress

The nursing home where mom is staying is giving us a fit. Medicare has quit paying because Mom is not getting any better. The nursing home wants her out of there and there is nowhere to put her. We all work and our homes are not adequate for an invalid. We cant find a nursing home anywhere in our area that will take her except for private pay at 100 to 150 a day and we simply dont have the money to do that. The Medicaid case worker is being a bitch and has turned down her claim repeatedly. When we try to talk to her she rudely cuts us off and is not helpful at all. I talked to my state senator several times this week and he is trying to help but it takes time and there is no time. I'm only getting 4 or 5 hours sleep each night. When I get exhausted enough or have a few drinks I fall asleep only to wake up and start going over it all in my head. If we could sell moms' property we could afford private pay for a while but she is not able to make those decisions and it takes a great deal of time to go through the process of a competency hearing and selling a home. I tried for years to get mom to prepare for this type of thing but her desease made her paranoid and uncooperative. I get stacks of bills in the mail every day in her name and now many of them are trying to pressure me into taking responsibility for her debts. Mom is alert mst days and usually figures out who I am after I'm with her for a while but remains confused about where she is or why she is there. She gets very confused about the family and cannot remember who is alive and who is dead. I don't try to correct her about dead family because there is no need to make her relive the grief over and over again. The Medicaid case worker told us to cash in all of moms life insurance and spend all the money on her to qualify for assistance at the assisted living facility. Now that she is back in a nursing home environment the money we had in her account for a short while makes her ineligible for assistance even though we were doing what we were instructed to do. It is so frustrating, I wish Mom would just go ahead and join Dad. She is already gone to us in her mind. her personality and her flavor as a person is gone because of this damnable desease and now her body just keeps going for no reason. I feel so guilty for thinking like this but I can't help it. I took a day off without pay this week and still turned in 62 hours at work. I was drowning my problems but working like this I don't even have time to drink. My phone rings constantly and I feel sometimes like I'm being pulled apart. My grandson cried the other night because he hadn't seen his Gramps in so long. It is now 5 am and I managed to sleep 4 hours. I look forward to going to work each day because while I'm working I'm not thing about all this other. The nursing home people have started using cell phones to call me because I knew the company numbers and wouldn't answer. I've had to start sending all unknown numbers to voicemail. Life is too short for this. The last ten years have had way too much stress in them. I'm about ready for a change. Some days I feel like putting my phone in the trash, packing a bag and hitting the road. My biggest problem is that I have always been the responsible, practical one in the family. I have never turned my back on anyone and I have seldom let anybody down. Those habits are hard to break. The seven years I worked in the nursing home I met every need of every resident and now I can't meet the needs of one person who is so dear to me. My hands are tied and I am so frustrated I feel like exploding. I am an action person and this is not an action situation. Many have told me to get a lawyer but that takes money and I don't really know who hold responsible for the situation. Ultimately Moms' illness is to blame but you can't sue God. I'll try to post more when things develop just in case there someone out there actually reading this.

STRESS

I think I stayed here one night.

Well, Mom is a little better but still very frail. I think she's gonna stay in a nursing home environment for the remainder of her life. My sister is dealing with Medicaid and is in the middle of the paper work circus.

I've been working a lot of hours lately, 55 to 70 per week and haven't really had time to write anything. The spouse and I are going to the beach this wknd to try to get over some of the stress. I may drink too much. I've been remodeling moms' house in order to rent it out and discovered that the copper pipes have pinholes in them. Fortunately the house is small with minimal plumbing. I'll just have to deal with it. thanks for reading.

Working my butt off.

Hey, if you got an itch you gotta scratch it! Well, here we are int the last part of January and I finally get a chance to update.

Mom had a real downturn back at the first of the year and ended up back in the hospital and back to a nursing home. I don't really think she's going back to the assisted living this time. I'm going for a visit in a little while. Each time I see her I expect it to be the last. People in her condition tend to surprize you with their staying power though. She could live for years.

I've been doing at least 60- hrs a week lately with several projects going on. This should slack off in late feb. I get really tired but enjoy the income.

I loved this when I found it. Rellay explains a lot about what is going in in the "City by the Bay".

Well, the election year is in full swing now and I couldn't be less interested. ALL the politicos are liars and government for and by the people is a myth. I think we are in the beginning of the end of the American Empire. Sound gloomy?, I still feel like we have the best thing going. I also think that there has never been anything better. History will tell if I'm right. thanks for reading.